When the In-laws Drop by Unannounced

Many people think that the only way to stop the in-laws from dropping by unannounced if to be stern with them, but there is an easier way. Find out what it is.

the in laws, married life, advice for newlyweds

Family!  You love them, but you don’t want them meddling in your married life. Marriage is hard enough without constant interference from family. Sadly, is very tempting to sweep this issue under the rug because it is not easy to set boundaries with the in-laws.

Dealing with In-Laws who Drop by Unannounced

One of the tactics that relatives use to interfere in your married life is dropping by unannounced. They’ll drive miles to get to your house but somehow forget to let you know that they are coming. Such behavior almost always points to a boundary issue. However, how do you set and enforce boundaries without alienating your family?

A good-natured non-defensive discussion is the way to go. You and your partner should each speak to your respective parents and siblings and tell them how much you love them and appreciate their interest in your lives. You should then explain that you’d prefer to know ahead of time when they are going to drop by because you are trying to establish a new life together and you need a certain amount of privacy.

Once you have had this talk with your family, it is important to be consistent. Anytime they show up at your door unannounced, great them warmly but let them know that you only have time for a cup of coffee then you must get on with your plans for the day. It’s important to let them know within minutes of their arrival that you had something else planned.

If they linger after coffee, just excuse yourself and let them know that you really must go. Then suggest an alternative date and time when you can catch up again. If you are consistent, they’ll soon adjust and stop showing up unannounced. They might grumble a bit about how busy you are these days but just assure them that you love them just as much as you did before you got married and make plans to catch up when it is convenient for both of you.

Many people think that the only way to stop the in-laws from dropping by unannounced if to be stern with them, but there is an easier way. Just smile and let them know you had other plans. They’ll soon learn that it is not much fun to just show up at your door because you’re always busy when they

http://ift.tt/26CdT9M By Mike Tucker